


Even in goodbyes, it was worth it

by BraidedBaggins



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Battle of Five Armies, Canonical Character Death, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Sorry, M/M, Mentions of Blood, My First Work in This Fandom, Sad, Triggers discussed in notes just in case!, Warning for crying Bilbo, and it's sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-04 04:11:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2913266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BraidedBaggins/pseuds/BraidedBaggins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Thorin lays dying at the end of the Battle of Five Armies, he talks to his burglar and amidst the final goodbyes comes a not so startling revelation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even in goodbyes, it was worth it

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys!  
> So this is my first work in this fandom and I want to warn for nobody really checking this over so there may be a few mistakes but if you comment them I'll go back and fix them! 
> 
> As for triggers there is death from a stab wound which means there is a brief mention of blood and eventually a corpse but nothing gets graphic so I'm happy to leave it at mature for the moment but if anyone needs me to change the rating or add more warnings I'd be happy to! 
> 
> I made myself cry writing this so maybe bring tissues.

He watched in shock as Thorin fell to the ground with an anguished cry before striking back with a wound just as fatal as his own would be. He started running towards him as Thorin forced through the pain to push Azog off the edge of the cliff, refusing to die next to someone so despicable, and he reached his king as he finally collapsed.

The battle so far had been fierce, Bilbo had watched as men, elves, dwarves, and orcs all fell, himself only just avoiding many killing blows even with the benefit of his ring. 

Nothing had made his head scream and his heart pound as much as the sight before him.

Thorin was crumpled in on himself, the ground around him dyed a dark red that was slowly spreading. His hands held his side and his face was wide open in shock and pain. It was wrong wrong wrong, Thorin had never looked so vulnerable and it made Bilbo slow his steps before sitting next to the king. 

It was worth it, Bilbo decided. The heartbreak he felt now as he held his king as he bled out, would be entirely worth it. Even if it would leave scars that might never heal where no one would ever see them.

Thorin was beautiful, asking for his forgiveness even as he lay dying on the cold ground, trying to reassure Bilbo himself with words so kind he desperately wanted to believe them. 

"Rest Bilbo, it's okay, I can't say I'm ready to go, but I am glad to if I go with your forgiveness" Thorin said as Bilbo shuffled closer. "I am glad to say goodbye to one I have wronged and would now call my friend."

"I have f-failed you, Thorin, I tri-tried to run to you, to stop him, but I just, I just w-wasn't fast enough and there are no healers n-near" Bilbo choked out, only just realising he was crying.

He took a deep breath and knew that if his words never fell from his tongue now, they never would. He could see himself being torn apart from the inside, becoming a bitter version of who is is and he looked into the eyes of the dwarrow he loved.

"Thorin I'm sorry but I-I have to say this." Bilbo said looking at Thorin who calmly looked right back as if he was not dying."I have loved you and you haven't known, and I'm- I'm sorry I'm telling you this now, when nothing can be done".'

Thorin looked startled even as his skin was turning pale and he was fading from the world. "You have failed me in nothing, Bilbo, except in the place I have failed you, if I had told you my own feelings earlier, this could have been prevented. I wish I had."

Tears dripped down Bilbos cheeks that no longer held the rosy plump they had at the start of the journey, instead they were now gaunt and pale as he stared at Thorin. 

"I don't think even wishing can help us now Thorin, and I love you" Bilbo whispered as he carded a hand through Thorins hair, damp with blood that told Bilbo the time he had left even though he refused to acknowledge it. "I would've put up with you for the rest of my life" he sobbed.

Thorin took a breath in that rattled as only those who lay dying did. "Bilbo, my one, my treasure, I would've lived a long life by your side and I would've been happy no matter what. It hurts for me to leave you in such doubt and pain, but I must." 

Bilbo was shaking, he couldn't deal with this, he could not watch as the one he lived died as he did nothing. "Thorin please, please just, just hold on, please, I'm sure someone's on their way!" 

Thorin smiled sadly at Bilbo "if more of us valued food and cheer and song above horded gold, it would be a merrier world, but if this is to be goodbye then you should know that I love you deeper than I shall ever lay" 

Bilbo was shaking with sobs as Thorin reached up with a knife and the last of his strength and cut one of his braids that was tucked near the nape of his neck off, the bead sparkling in the fading daylight, the bead Bilbo recognised as the consorts bead. The memory flashed before Bilbos eyes, warm sun on his feet, Beorns bees buzzing nearby, and his love telling him of braids and beads. Bilbo managed a weak smile as Thorin pushed it into Bilbos hand, before laying still. 

"No" Bilbo whimpered looking into Thorins lifeless eyes "No, no, no, Thorin please, no!, d-don't you dare leave me here alone! Don't you dare tell me you lo-love me and then leave me!" Bilbo broke down and sobbed, braid clutched in one hand, Thorins still warm hand in the other as he mourned. 

It was dark when they found him, he knew not how much time had passed, only that it had. He was curled up in a ball, rocking slowly, his tears long dried up. The next few minutes passed in a blur, he heard Dwalins cry if anguish as he looked at Thorin, saw Ori's eyes fill with tears at the sight of Fili and Kili, he saw his friends looking as lost as he felt, and finally, he felt himself being scooped up into caring arms and taken away to somewhere warm, leaving Thorin, his beautiful king, on the ground. 

The arms that encircled him soon revelled themselves to be those of Bofurs and Bilbo was sure he spotted Nori following them from a slight distance, knifes glinting as well as eyes. 

He was laid down in a tent bed, a healer already bustling over to check on him before the braid was seen and Bofur couldn't help himself as he grimaced and gave Bilbo a hug. 

Worth it indeed, Bilbo thought as his body gave out to exhastution and heartbreak, so very worth it.


End file.
